Golden Years

by Austin Parish

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about

A collection of EPs, demos, b-sides, and covers, written and/or recorded from 2012-2014.

credits

released December 31, 2014

Self-recorded, mixed, and mastered, except for "Torn," which was recorded, mixed, and mastered by Ian Skeans and "Forget Me," which was recorded and mixed by Chase Huglin.

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license

all rights reserved

about

Austin Parish Fort Wayne, Indiana

Independent singer/songwriter from Fort Wayne, Indiana.

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Contact Austin Parish

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Track Name: Burn
At least I tried
Even though I didn't
I never gave enough at all
To make a difference

Although we aren't who we were
And I still have so much to learn
I lit a cigarette when you lit me up
And I can feel it
(I can feel it, quit)

I'd call it a lie
Even though you didn't
Now I find myself neck deep
In the grave I'm digging

Now I don't go out anymore
'Cause I hate the way it feels when it's warm
I lit a cigarette and you left me and you burned right through my core
No we're not who we were
When I was younger I much preferred
Singing along with all your stupid songs that you thought were cool when they weren't
Track Name: Circular Motion
I think the earth needs a break from spinning
At least I know I do
Constantly floating in circular motion
Has me holding my faults over my head

You will never be my friend
If you look at me that way
Someday we will pretend
That we never knew this pain

I think you need a break from drinking
At least I know I don't
I'm sinking alone in an ocean of foam
Hoping to drown and leave you in the cold

You will never be my friend
You'll never look at me the same
Every day you will pretend your life is better off this way
So fuck it, I'll stay
Track Name: Kids Raising Kids
There's always gonna be something going wrong
There's always gonna be someone who don't belong
Like a flower peaking out of the sidewalk
But there's a line between being nice and being stepped on

Just sit the kids in front of the TV
Let their minds destroy themselves
You should've learned by now
This isn't a matter of heaven and hell
But you're gonna do what you gotta do
To make yourself feel comfortable
Just sit the kids in front of the TV
Let their minds be miserable
(Let their brains rot out of their skulls)

There's always gonna be a better song
There's always gonna be someone that you can't top
But you're a flower peaking out of the sidewalk
Define a line between being nice and being stepped on

You're either working for a paycheck or trying
You're either telling me something that I wanna hear or lying
Track Name: Future Stranger
I thought you had my back
I was wrong about that
I'll never trust you ever again
I've chose a new path
You can't take this back
It's my scar forever
You don't care about that

You say that you care about others
But only care for yourself
Wiping the tears of your brothers
But failing to feel how it felt

Try to keep it together
Make it look like you're better
But we both know you're not making any progress
Force out your smile
Tend to sadness with laughs
But after a while
You end up going back
Track Name: Feel Better
I should've called you when I had the chance to call
Now I'm falling into nothing at all

And I hate the way the ink from your pen tastes
When you write me a letter saying to feel better
Say it to my face

I should've spent the night with you when I still had the chance to
Now my mouth, it doesn't move, I wanna talk to you

I'm on my way
Track Name: Leveling Out
Every time I look for the sun
The moon comes up almost as if to say "fuck you"
I've been dealing with not being fine
I'm getting by with wasted time and trusting in no one

Everyday that I wake I go straight back to sleep
'Cause I've been finding out more and more
I'm just as bad as before

I've been thinking about what Grey said
These things have a way of leveling themselves out
And I owe to my friends
For walking through the fire to pull me out

Everyday that I wake there's a smile inside of me
'Cause I've been finding out more and more
I'm getting better than before
And every night I sleep
That same smile's inside my dreams
'Cause I'm finding out more and more
I'm getting better than before
I'm better than before
Track Name: Utah
I could be your John Bender
If you would be my Claire
Sneaking into a back room to kiss me anywhere
I ask you why you did that
Cause you know I never would
For once being so bad feels pretty good

If life was as simple as the snow
Then I would fly to Utah to let you know
Indiana got less beautiful

You could be June Carter and I'll be Johnny Cash
You're so pretty with your fare skin
While I'm dressed up in black
If it means I have to chase you, I will walk the line
I'd give away all of my things just to make you mine
Track Name: You're Good
You're always sitting calm
Smoking your last cigarette
Complaining about your health
And it must be hard
Crying in your car before school
Thinking of someone else

If I don't make it out this week, I'm truly sorry
I tried to be the best I could
I can tell that you're the one that they've all been waiting on
To take away the pain for good
'Cause you're good

You're always writing songs
But you never finish them
And I know it sucks feeling so alone
Surrounded by your closest friends
But you couldn't be further from them
Track Name: What's Cool
I bet you only like The Smiths 'cause you heard them in some A-list movie
That your so called friends forced you to see
Your clothes say you're cool but your eyes tell a different story
And lately you've been nothing to see

I haven't fell in love 'cause there's nobody to fall in love with

I bet you only like Tigers Jaw because some guy that you liked does
But which flavor of the week did you get it from?
Talking shit on the only thing that I find worth defending
Makes me wonder why the fuck did you come?

I haven't fell in love 'cause you're nobody to fall in love with
Track Name: Forget Me
How do you get your sleep?
How do you stomach what you eat?
A simple three step process?
Forgive, forget, repeat
You forgive yourself and forget me

So many people run their mouths
Acting like they own this town
Well I don't wake up in any other state
So there's no use in telling me to get out

How will I ever sleep?
On an empty stomach,
I can't eat
Another three step process
In my head on repeat
Load it, cock it, pull it
Forget me
Track Name: North Manchester
My hands won't quit shaking
I'm nervous to say the least
The risk that we're taking
Is scaring the shit out of me
My life is receding and sometimes I feel that's just fine
A constant repeating reminds me I'm in the back of the line

Nothing shines gold anymore

I remember this one time that we sat up on an old bridge
Outside of the town where you and your family lives
Walked down by the water, where you began spilling your guts
I promised not to tell and to this day I have kept my mouth shut

Nothing shines gold anymore
Track Name: Torn
You were moving out west just for a little time with your brother
I admired that
But it left me feeling torn between the bed and the floor
I could not get up
I've been staring at an empty page, I've been holding back all my rage
Could never let it out
But after all I'm the one to blame and if you know me then you know my shame so I will shut my mouth

I bet you're sick of hearing all my sad songs and my feelings
Did you ever really know me all that well?
I feel redundant and pathetic, sadness came in 'cause I let it
And it's been burying my health

I took up talking to the Lord and truth be told, I don't know what for
'Cause he's not talking back
If it's all been done before then what's the use in doing more?
So cut me some slack
Track Name: Better Off Dead (Demo)
Most days I find out
Why I shouldn't have got out of bed
Oh, and I know now
What I didn't know back then

Is it really so hard to love your friends the way that they love you?
Is it really that hard to see the thought that I put into you

I pound every detail into my head til I'm better off dead
Now I'll drive myself, drunk as piss down a gravel road
To end my life on these stones

If it is then I guess I'm damned
And this whole thing's been a sham
I'm so unenthused with this life you wanna lose
I know you're hard of hearing but hear me now
Track Name: Computer Screens (Demo)
It seems that I am stuck inside some sort of pickle
Caught between a shiny penny and a rusty nickel
But what's worth more? 'Cause to you it ain't gold unless it's got that "shine and shimmer"
To me? It's all getting old like your fake nails with gold glitter
And I'm so sick of people wasting their night on Facebook,
Talking about how they should be with their friends
But they don't talk to them, why don't you talk to them?
And I'm goddamn sick of technology and everyone's fucking face being lit up by a screen, the silence is deafening

This has got to be the saddest shit I've ever seen
Human emotion replaced with an emoji

It seems that I now live inside some sort of cluster-fuck
Between hopeless romantics and a fucking iPod Touch
As if the text message love is actually appealing but you're socially awkward and you can't take a compliment
It's kind of pathetic...

This has got to be the saddest shit I've ever seen
Human connection replaced with computer screens
You can all get fucked
Track Name: See Through (Demo)
She says that I don't understand the situation
I know that I probably don't
So if you figure me out please let me know

Where do you go in the morning everyday?
You're somewhere different
Hey, don't walk away
Everyday you're someone different
You're someone different everyday

I don't know why I let myself always be this way
Letting my heart be broken
But don't worry it's not broken all the way

What happens if I want to kiss you and I can't help it?
What happens if I want to hold you and I can't hold it?
I can't kiss you, I can't hold you
I feel like I'm see through all the time
Track Name: El Smacko (Demo)
Almost everyone I know lives a life they don't even want
I wonder what will happen to them
I've spent some nights alone, in tidal waves of growth
And I felt, I felt the urge to not be like them

If this is all life has to offer
I think I'm better off on the other side
And I'm sorry for being upfront
About the way I would rather die

I can't help but feel alone when I'm surrounded by ghosts
And I see, I see it now more than ever
No one really cares, cigarettes and tangled hair
At least you'll look good going to my funeral